Today was pretty cool. We did yoga…on a Yacht! Honestly there is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful where I live. Growing up in Michigan and living/ traveling all over the world, I’ve experienced every type of weather imaginable. Michigan is known for 80 degrees one day, snow the next! So sun everyday is such a blessing!
Anyhow, the environment today was amazing as always. But there was a lot more than just the environment. The instructor was so REAL to me. She asked us to do something that other yoga instructors have never asked…at least not in the classes I have been to. She asked us to feel. She didn’t want us to leave all our issues on land. She wanted us to bring them to the mat and to really acknowledge how they made us feel. Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses and a hat because it was the first time I ever cried during yoga. She also reminded us that we are always thinking of “the good old days” when in reality the moment we are in WILL BECOME the good old days! I don’t know what she went through in life a few years ago, but I do know this instructor really resonated with me. Some days I feel like there is SO much going on and life is happening so fast. Other days I feel like I want to fast forward and figure shit out so I can ignore actual feelings. My Dad recently had major back surgery and the recovery has been anything but easy. The first two weeks were a major struggle and he was back and forth in the ER due to reactions to all the medications. I went home last minute because I felt an intense need to be with my family. It was SO HARD to see my Dad, my hero, in that state. He has never been weak to me, but I knew he was hurting. I had such great intentions of being so helpful and being a great daughter but looking back I kind of froze. I didn’t “perform” how I wanted. I was thinking about that today during yoga. The instructor was challenging us, telling us to deal with our neighbors touching us. We need to quit freaking out about people invading our space and we need accept love, touch, and feeling. It is so true! My friend Laura was lying next to me and her knee kept hitting mine. Before today I would have shifted. I would have moved so I was not touching anyone…stranger or friend. Instead, I FORCED myself to stay. I forced my knee to stay put and accept someone was in my space. Instead of shifting and being uncomfortable, I relaxed. And when Laura laughed, I immediately laughed. And when Michelle laugh (next to Laura), Laura laughed. I don’t know if their knees were touching, but the feeling was contagious and it made me feel human. And they know none of this so when people read it, I am definitely going to blush.
Looking back on today I definitely realize how all these moments we share with family and friends become the “good old days” and that’s why it is so important to be present. I can’t go home and re-do my trip and be a better daughter. I can’t change anything about the past. But I can work on the present. All of these feeling came up today when I was trying to swim and I honestly couldn’t deal with them. First of all, we tried to do an ocean swim this morning but the waves were CRAZY and there were tiny red crabs everywhere! AND our friend got stabbed by a stingray!
So after yoga Marjan and I attempted to do 4600 yards but I couldn’t do it. Every emotion from yoga was filling my mind and since I’ve been really sick all week, my chest was really hurting. So I had to get out. Hopefully I learned from the experience and I can learn to push through when I don’t want to. Today was one of the very few days I stopped my training but at the end of the day it really was a success! I learned so much about pushing through and about being thankful for all the moments we have with people. The groups of friends on that yacht today are amazing! Always up for anything and always so full of energy! I love them beyond belief! It made me realize I need to share the same happiness that I share my friends, with my family, my co-workers, everyone. And I need to have the same perspective when my long training sessions get to be too much:)